Archive for February, 2009

Sanity and I am sane

sanity

“Live your life and never mind others”, I completely dis agree with that phrase.For whether how much you convince yourself or how you deny the presence of other people, In anyway they are influencing or making an impact in your life.

Everybody is busy. so busy to meet deadlines as for them to graduate. I hate the people for being so inconsiderate.

Imu ba gi consider na nag pa set set ka ug defense skedule peo wala japon me na accomodate. Then kung naa ka mahanap na mali sa amung papers imu lang e reject dayun..ana ra lugar na ka sayun…. Unsa? mag sakit da i imung tiyan  kung mka graduate me. I s too much to take for your soooo stupid pride na dawaoan ang truth na basen mag graduate me tanan. In ana jud da i mo ka selfish na ang amung gi hago an for 5 years, mao ni ang reward inyu pa jud gipag kaet sa amu. When in fact kabalo nka, aware na we did our part. Peo naa lang jdu mga stupid nga people nga greedy sa money. Dili mag hesistate ug paasa sa uban na tao.

Just because studyante me dawaton na lang lugar namu. Dapat maging considerate lang sad unta mo m aski gamay lang..karon lang gyud. Kalipay da i ninyu nga ma gool me. Grabe rasad mo…lame kaayu mo pang patyon tanan…….

Naa pay isa nga kung makita me nga busy mag apil apil sad dayun..waaa seloso ra jud kaayu. You often say na KSP me..peo tan awa inyung ka ugalingon arent you being KSP this time…….Tigulang na man unta mo…

PESTE!!!!!!! MONG TANAN……………..

SABA NA LANG GUD NGA DILI MO GUSTO NA MAG GRADUATE ME…ATAY LANG

To God be the Glory!

glory

I am on the state of worrying right now. I am ashamed coz this only show that I have little faith, but inspite of that I want to shift that state from worrying unto glorifying God. I made stupid decisions in my life. I guess i need them to learn. I realize that the reason behind those unwise decisions  is that i am seeking glory not for God but for me.I wanted to list maybe not all just some of the few reasons why i need to glorify my savior.

  • He come and die for me, thus save me from eternal punishment
  • He never gets tired of pardoning me
  • He never hesitated to discipline me even if everytime am hurting he is feeling double of my pain
  • He never really forsaken me, it is I that leave on His presence
  • He gave me a family that is beyond perfect but still blessed by him
  • He send me to school
  • He never give second thought on accepting me, everytime i choose to journey on my own
  • Inspite of how dirty, filthy i made myself still He embraces me with Love
  • He consider me
  • He made me as me

Woman for God….

womenofgod2

Plenty of things happen this week. Circumstances that certainly like what James Allen said from one of his book – circumstances that would surely reveal who you really is.  I lost my temper to one of my dearest friend. I deliberately show to her that am angry. Certainly, I fail to be a woman God wanted me to be and brought shame to my creators name. Inspite of those terrible events, I am happy to start my week again with knowing my worth, knowing what should i ought to be as a woman for God and knowing how God  sees me as a woman.

A desire to be with someone has been bothering me lately.  But I thank God for even if my end might not be for His glory but still he guide me through.He never permitted that my loneliness and pain would make me commit myself to someone who doesn’t deserve to have  me. I realize just now, –  after reading an article written by Bonnie Risk entitled “A Woman of God” that I am treated by God with care and gentleness. I am “GREATLY LOVED” by God, it is always been. I always thought that I am cursed to be a girl – a woman and that God love me less compare to a man, for I am created to follow authority. I thank God that I know just now, He revealed to me that I am lucky and destined to be a girl  a woman. I admit, I came to admire  those people who had the capability of hurting me and i alowed ’em, I’ve been rude and been bitter, harsh to myself which I shouldn’t have been. God loves me and everytime am hurting, he is feeling double or even triple of the pain.

I should strive to be a woman that reveals Gods glory rather than bringing abomination to Him.In the world that we live in, woman are striving for equality which impossible. I should not strive for that, rather than spending time doing it why not meditate on how to be a woman for God.

I wanted to end this article by saying that “WOMAN are indeed important and  valued by God. That is why we have also to be responsible, try our very best to be better. Find some one that would see you as God sees you..God wanted you to be loved.am certain to that.So don’t just settle for someone who is not capable of loving you…that’s stupidity:D

woman

Self Impose Happiness

smileyI am not so happy  being lonely, self impose loneliness.

Sometimes we settle for whatever is there for the sake of breaking the monotony of  routine.

I maybe, involved myself into such stupidity, like that, but  I guess its ok.

It has revealed a lot of awakening, threathing and overwhelming traits that I thought I never posses.

Some self impose loneliness aided me as to how to truly I am being value, though it should maatter less.

But now, i am trying to be happy – even if it is just a self  impose happiness.

Casio fx991

calcu

As a trying hard engineering student, my calculator has been a part of me. It is as essential as the food am eating.( i may sound exagerating but thats it). Through the years of hard work and sleepless night, that device has been my buddy.

My older brother gave that to me when i was i guess a frehsman.  He forsee that i need that.  I took good care of my calculator. I always check on it. That calculator has been already a part of my college career.

My sister barrowed my calculator then one return home and just siply say “NAWALA -LOST-………

i AM HURTING BECAUSE OF IT..HAHAIZ

Brokenheart

brokenSome one send me this text message. I just want to share it with you

How wud I say gudbye 2 sum1 i nvr had?

Y do my tears fall 4 sum1 hu never was mine?

Y s 8 dat i miss sum1 i was never w/?

and

Y do i love sum1 hus love was never me??

indeed its heartbreaking…but one must be happy because she/he love.We are to be happy thinking we love even if we are not being loved in return. thats life, it is never fair but it is just ;)……

who am I

the_sad_clown

I am mai and this is me.

I am maquarading as a clown

but all those smiles are empty.

I make peole laugh and be happy

but i cant do it to myself.

I am broken by people –

i know im at fault for allowing ’em.

Fixing myself is never as easy as breaking me.

How long would i be this way

I am smiling but they are empty

I am so well at the outside but am dying slowly inside

I am determine to be a better me

A clown that could be true to herself.

Not afraid of the critisim, Not afraid of anything

Soon I will be a better me 😀

The life that I Live!!!

blueeyetearsI grew up trying my best to follow my parents, thinking they are always right. I have given up some of my dreams and i  let ’em control me. I guess i  just tried to be a good daughter. Now i am contemplating if they realy ever been fair to me? It is so hard to conquer the disappointments and the realizations and deal with ’em in a way that would  suit best for you. For eventually if you let it prevail, it will destroy you.

Disappointed – because i used to think that my family is okey. even if our set up is quite unsual compare to that of a normal family  but now i knew it is not. I have given up a lot of things in my life because of people that i thought appriciated and loved me, but did they ?? it seems i cant see it or evn feel it. They hurt me deliberityly.  I wanted to make things right now, but i am having difficulty of doing that.  They still stick into my senses. I grown up to be this way and now i realize that it is not me really. It is them that i am trying to live and portray. I know the sole responsibilty lied inside me but the things i’ve gone through makes it so hard for me. I pass the stage of regretting and now i am in the process of letting go and forgetting. I wanted to be a better person but often i am overcome by my self.

I have faith that by Gods grace and mercy I will be well and better :D..